Life As It Is In November - 2

Life can bring you lemons, right? Well, do people ever mention that life can also give you sour milk? Moldy bread? Rotten eggs?

I'm starting to find that being an adult is... well, it's frightening.

I mean, it is absolutely terrifying.

No, I'm serious, look me in the eye. I. AM. TERRIFIED.

It seems that when it comes to trying to deal with any situation nowadays, I will find myself looking out a window, thinking oh my gosh... how do I even begin to deal with this? I mean, I can handle the situation, but mentally? Emotionally? Yeah right...

Just recently I had a problem, and I said to myself "okay, I'm going to talk this out with this person, and see what the problem is. Simple as that."

OH. MY. WORD.

I walked to and fro, trying to finish up my chores, and this overwhelming pain came upon me. It made me depressed, distraught, and simply scared. I could feel it so deep in my lower chest. I didn't know what happened to me. I couldn't calm down, no matter how hard I tried. I literately told myself "I'm fine, damnit, I'm fine damnit."

Well I wasn't fine, damnit!

I told myself that I could be a man about this, that it was probably just a misunderstanding, that there was a simple explanation, but that didn't help. I was still walking inside, fighting back tears. I was confused! Why was I crying? Why was I so stressed over this? Why do I have to be so emotional, and so sensitive?

Turns out, there was a simple explanation, as well as COMPLETELY understandable! Yay! Bye-bye tears, bye-bye pain!

Um... yeah, no.

I walked straight into my room, and cried. I just sat there and cried.

But that was when I realized something: Growing up and dealing with situation maturely hurts like hell. And I mean that. It feels like a painful fire deep in your chest, and it didn't want to go away.

This is simply one part of growing up. This is simply a phase that I MUST go through. It's growing pains, and I'm growing into more of a man every day. It happens to all of us, and we simply need to understand that this is simply our spiritual body growing.

So for now, I choose pain over comfort, for the pain is only temporary.